p.s. sorry it's so long! didn't realize i was rambling on quite so much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-wHVcfs8V4
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
consider this the 'before'
i made a little video of our apartment about a month or two ago - then got very, very distracted and never posted it. i thought i'd post it now, because our stuff has arrived and the apartment is such a disaster, it might be quite a while before i can post the 'after.' so at least you can picture where we live in the meantime. and someday, after having the baby and maybe even after finishing radiation and chemo, we'll get really settled in and i can post the 'after'!
p.s. sorry it's so long! didn't realize i was rambling on quite so much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-wHVcfs8V4
p.s. sorry it's so long! didn't realize i was rambling on quite so much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-wHVcfs8V4
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
hooray for good news!
We got fantastic news from our surgeon yesterday!
The 10 lymph nodes that were removed all tested clean - no cancer. Additionally, the wide margin around the tumor tested clean - all the surrounding tissue, even the underneath tissue. The doctor can't say definitively that there's no metastasis, but he can say there's no sign of it!
We are absolutely thrilled, because this means I'm most likely out of immediate danger. Treatment is still necessary - definitely radiation. We'll find out if chemo is also needed on Saturday, when the rest of the pathology report comes back. But the awesome news is that treatment isn't urgent - the doctor says we can wait 10 weeks!! That's 6 weeks to let the baby come on his own (back to natural birth plan!) and then 4 weeks of baby-loving, including breastfeeding, before radiation begins. Not sure when chemo would begin, if it's needed, but not before then.
All of this needs to be double checked by doctors back home - the Embassy will send everything back for a 2nd opinion - but the pathologists here did an ultra-thorough assessment, and we trust that the results are accurate.
What a huge relief - at the very least, we have the next 10 weeks off to relax, have a normal life, get ready for the baby, and then enjoy him and focus on him fully when he comes. Such a gift.
Thank you all for the incredible support you've given us - the emails, facebook messages, and phone calls have been extremely comforting to us. Local friends, thank you thank you for visiting, bringing food, texting, etc over the past few days. We appreciate ALL of you SO much - you've made this hellish experience bearable. Not totally out of the woods yet, but we have HUGE hope. Yay!!!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
really didn't see this coming...
let me start by saying i'm a lousy blogger. i have all sorts of ideas for posts, and photos ready to go, but i just don't get around to posting. i vow to do better, and to fill this blog with with endless pics and tales of our life in thailand. but this post is different; i have share some crappy news.
2 weeks ago, at exactly 8 months pregnant, i was diagnosed with breast cancer. by chance, i'd noticed a little lump in my left breast, so i mentioned it to my OB. she sent me for an ultrasound and an appointment with a breast surgeon, and he did a needle biopsy. confirmed: invasive ductal carcinoma. ian and i were completely stunned. we figured it would be nothing - maybe a clogged milk duct - but breast cancer?? especially since, as many of you know, i had thyroid cancer about 15 years ago. i figured i'd done my time - lightning couldn't possibly strike me twice. but here we are.
last week was packed with visits to various bangkok doctors and meetings at the embassy med office. every evening and morning, we were on the phone and emailing with specialists back in the states. it's amazing how many of our friends and family have connections to top breast surgeons, oncologists, obgyns, etc. a HUGE thank you to everyone who hooked us up with resources. by the end of the week, we had a plan: surgery, then baby, then radiation and/or chemo.
surgery is tomorrow. we are blessed to be working with the top breast surgeon in thailand - the surgeon to the royal family :) and he's the founder and director of the highly-respected breast cancer center here in bangkok. he'll be removing the tumor and several nearby lymph nodes. of course, we were extremely freaked out by the idea of surgery/general anesthesia while i'm still pregnant, but we've been assured by everyone we've talked to that it's safe for the baby. and we just can't wait - pregnancy hormones can be very dangerous for cancer growth. there's a tiny chance of preterm labor, but i'm 34 weeks now, and the baby would almost surely do very well if he came now. plus, i've been getting steroid injections to help with his lung development. but he'll most likely stay put.
we'll have to wait a few days to learn the results of the tumor/lymph node analysis. if it's good news, we may be able to wait for the baby to come on his own (in about 6 weeks) and start treatment after. if it's bad news, we may have to bring the baby early to start treatment sooner. looks like worse case scenario would be delivering him at 37 weeks, which isn't bad at all. he'd be full-term - not considered a preemie.
we vacillate between being focused, task-oriented, determined and terrified, panicked, angry, sad. ian has been amazing - i know he's going through his own fear and grief right now, but somehow he manages to take excellent care of me. i hope i do the same for him. and, while we've been in bangkok less than 2 months, we already have an incredible group of friends who have been unbelievably supportive. it's definitely difficult to be so far from family and our other friends, and we've questioned whether staying in bangkok for treatment is the right decision - but medical care is so good here, and we don't have to be separated. if i came home, ian could come for a brief time, but not for long. so for now, we're choosing to stay here, leaning on our new community of friends and the wonderful medical experts we've met.
we decided to share this with everyone, because it looks likely that this could be a lengthy process, and it just doesn't work to try to keep it quiet. plus, the outpouring of love and support we've already received from people who know has been a huge source of strength for us - there's no logic in trying to go through this alone.
we'll keep you in the loop. thanks for reading :)
2 weeks ago, at exactly 8 months pregnant, i was diagnosed with breast cancer. by chance, i'd noticed a little lump in my left breast, so i mentioned it to my OB. she sent me for an ultrasound and an appointment with a breast surgeon, and he did a needle biopsy. confirmed: invasive ductal carcinoma. ian and i were completely stunned. we figured it would be nothing - maybe a clogged milk duct - but breast cancer?? especially since, as many of you know, i had thyroid cancer about 15 years ago. i figured i'd done my time - lightning couldn't possibly strike me twice. but here we are.
last week was packed with visits to various bangkok doctors and meetings at the embassy med office. every evening and morning, we were on the phone and emailing with specialists back in the states. it's amazing how many of our friends and family have connections to top breast surgeons, oncologists, obgyns, etc. a HUGE thank you to everyone who hooked us up with resources. by the end of the week, we had a plan: surgery, then baby, then radiation and/or chemo.
surgery is tomorrow. we are blessed to be working with the top breast surgeon in thailand - the surgeon to the royal family :) and he's the founder and director of the highly-respected breast cancer center here in bangkok. he'll be removing the tumor and several nearby lymph nodes. of course, we were extremely freaked out by the idea of surgery/general anesthesia while i'm still pregnant, but we've been assured by everyone we've talked to that it's safe for the baby. and we just can't wait - pregnancy hormones can be very dangerous for cancer growth. there's a tiny chance of preterm labor, but i'm 34 weeks now, and the baby would almost surely do very well if he came now. plus, i've been getting steroid injections to help with his lung development. but he'll most likely stay put.
we'll have to wait a few days to learn the results of the tumor/lymph node analysis. if it's good news, we may be able to wait for the baby to come on his own (in about 6 weeks) and start treatment after. if it's bad news, we may have to bring the baby early to start treatment sooner. looks like worse case scenario would be delivering him at 37 weeks, which isn't bad at all. he'd be full-term - not considered a preemie.
we vacillate between being focused, task-oriented, determined and terrified, panicked, angry, sad. ian has been amazing - i know he's going through his own fear and grief right now, but somehow he manages to take excellent care of me. i hope i do the same for him. and, while we've been in bangkok less than 2 months, we already have an incredible group of friends who have been unbelievably supportive. it's definitely difficult to be so far from family and our other friends, and we've questioned whether staying in bangkok for treatment is the right decision - but medical care is so good here, and we don't have to be separated. if i came home, ian could come for a brief time, but not for long. so for now, we're choosing to stay here, leaning on our new community of friends and the wonderful medical experts we've met.
we decided to share this with everyone, because it looks likely that this could be a lengthy process, and it just doesn't work to try to keep it quiet. plus, the outpouring of love and support we've already received from people who know has been a huge source of strength for us - there's no logic in trying to go through this alone.
we'll keep you in the loop. thanks for reading :)
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